story

Scraps

I was taking up my exam that time when you suddenly cross my mind. I was unconsciously smiling when I slightly had lost the idea of how to solve the numbers in front of me. I’ve loved math. And you manage to meet me in the midst of my deepest concentration. That thought scared me. 

I cannot have a distraction. This can’t be. 

But I remembered our almost close interaction in the hallways, stairs and the library not so long before my exam. I was motivated. 
Is this the thought they were talking about?

“How can be something this good be so bad?”
How can my motivation be my destruction?
And then I saw you there. Sitting with your friends. I spotted you almost immediately, you just stand out. I didn’t realize that I am already smiling to myself. You were looking my way. 

There is something wrong, though.

I don’t want to admit it, but it’s your eyes. 

It’s the same mesmerizing pair but they don’t look so inviting to me, they aren’t calling to me anymore. Why are they so distant?
“Hey, isn’t he the guy you were talking about?”
Said my other friend walking behind us (w/ other friend). 
I smiled at her when I turned my head. “It’s him.” As I replied, it turned out sad. I think I knew it. 
“He was totally looking at you.” She mused me. 
I looked at you again, you look good in the panel. I hope you were doing great on that event. 
My eyes tried to follow your line of vision that seems to be anywhere but me. 
And it landed to where the voice was,

“Totally…” my lips uttered, 

(not) my mind added. 
-LSS | February 23,2017