To whomever

There, somewhere. 

I don’t want to be lost here

Find me a place to be lost instead

I want the sound of the wind in my face

I want the lights dancing as we go past through them

I want the long waits in line of those in different colors 

I want the beat goes along the hump in every of the way 

I want to see the people around without them seeing me

I want the trees and the long roads too

I want the color of the sky ahead of us

It would be nice on a sunset, i guess

I don’t want the time to bother me 

How I would love to be in a place I have never been to, can you take me there?

A place of unending reason to live and chances

And once we found one,

You can leave me there

Or stay
-LSS. October 23, 2016

Out of the blue

She does not want to be saved

I was in silence, feeling the whispers of the wind in my ear, dancing with them is my hair as it lands in my face.

Then, I heard the sobs of the sky.

I opened my eyes, it’s getting gray. I never heard it in a while and it breaks my heart. Not because I missed it but I realized that here she is again. What is it this time?

I extended my hand, are you alright? Water droplets greet my arms, I felt the liquid in my eyes.

I was crying… and so is she.

“What is it this time?” I asked. She said nothing as she let down her hair knotted in a bun. The rain… it’s pouring hard now.

I abruptly went to the shed to prevent myself from getting wet, but she stayed. Just standing there, her hair down and shoulders slumped.

I called her to join me at the shed, she raised her head up and looked at me. She smiled and was about to step forward but then she looked behind. There comes the much stronger storm. Looking back at me, she get something from behind her.

She got an umbrella, a small unsteady umbrella. Opening it like it’s her armor. I was confused, I frowned at her. She is now facing the storm and is getting in its way.

The storm came.

Shattering sound was heard, harsh blown wind was felt.

It stopped. And there she is.

The umbrella was by her side like it’s long forgotten, out of its form and other accesories was out of sight.

Her hair still down and shoulder still slumped. She picked up the umbrella, closed it then put it back in her back.

The sun was showing up, the wind is getting lighter.

I stepped outside the shed, she was still in the distance, now fixing her hair and clothes.

I came up to help her.

Two more steps. I extended my hand, trying to reach her.

But I can’t, she looked so vulnerable. I can’t, she was so far away.
She is so far away.
She looked back at me, she was smiling.

She started to walk away, leaving the words that is so simple but seems so complex. But then, I let her, I let her be. She would come back anyway.

She always do.

“I’m fine.”

August 2016


Little Something

We want to be strong.
But we have to be vulnerable.
We don’t want to lose.
But we have to accept defeat.
We want to stand for our dignity and pride.
But we have to think practical.

Funny how we both need things that are completely contrast to the other. But on a particular circumstance, only one particular thing must be done.

Sometimes the more we reach for the top, the more we are unconsciously bringing ourselves down.

We can’t always have the upper hand but we can save ourselves from a complete fall.

Strength is power. If we are gaining it, means we are bound to lose it too. Slowly. What if we drain it in the middle of chaos?
Can’t we just be vulnerable and save our power for something that is worthy.

Or is it worthy?

Is it worthy losing your dignity and pride of the crude thing this life is challenging you?
Or was it really about your dignity or was it your pride? Maybe it was just your ego that possessed you to keep it up, even if it’s already hurting. Even if you are already bleeding.

If you can’t hold on anymore… let go.

Letting go is winning. You win from the fact that you could accept things you can’t before. Maturity. It is like winning yourself, giving ourselves a break from losing something, which is yourself too.

We didn’t know that maybe, amidst of the battle we are fighting, we’ve been losing a part of us. What is winning for, if we can’t bring back what we lost from the chaos?

Accept the things you can’t have.
There are some other things that is in stored for you.
Accept the things that doesn’t matter anymore even how much you treasure it.

But you could keep it.

Keep it to yourself.

…if you have to.

Is writing this makes me a coward? A weak? No.

All I know is, I’ve been strong enough to show off what I can, and I just know how to play with this cruel reality called life.
I learned how to live it.
By living it, we have to leave some things on the way.
In order to push through, survive.
We let it be and watch how things will fall… apart and into places.

MAY 28, 2016 | 7:38 PM | SATURDAY


Tagaytay Escapade

Planning this trip was smooth, we brain stormed ideas and stuff and that’s how our discussion became heated and fun at the same time.

Arranging it was undoubtly not easy for we were inconsistent of the van we were planning to use and foods to pack. But all went well at the end.

Persuading friends for this was stressfully tiring, because everyone was like yes and no, unsure. And if won’t personally ask, they won’t give you updates about their final decision. *Sigh* S/o to TMM!

I was slightly getting hype but stressed out of everything my plans for this month. I also started to second guess this trip because of stupid superstition and instinct that made me question my decision. But how can my heart take this long drive down?
You know how much this makes me feel alive and contented, how much I love this kind of escapes.
… and the fact that it turned out to be a night out. It’s final! I’m so doing this!

Things were getting out of hand and slowly drifting apart. Okay, that’s exaggerating but these past weeks were seriously draining me. It was exhausting me physically and mentally. I cried for no reason at all and to just plain pathetic instances. Also, I haven’t had a proper sleep just yet. And time won’t stop and continue torturing me with how fast it flies. Damn, can you slow down?

My father haven’t given me money for the trip yet and my mom still pushes cons and cons of this upcoming out of town. (Presenting to you my super nega mom). I guess she just cares so much. It doesn’t take a genius to know that I’m lacking money and this day has to be the day we were supposed to look for (summer)job. Great idea, friend. So we went out but I was unluckily still too young for the company we went to. So I waited for my friend until she finished her interview and meet her on lunch break. I think it’s fine that she got a huge chance to have a job and I don’t because during lunch my dream came true. I ate alone with no company at all! Don’t I just love to be independent? So it really happened, I swear.
So there, after that I hanged out with 2 of my high school close friends (chia and len) and do just girly things and catched up.

Before the day ended, we finalize the whole trip and how it should go. We’re still conscious though, but we love being reckless. Bad asses we have here.

The original plan was to start as the sun rise but take it from us; we’re undecisive. Instead, we drove away just as the sun sets. The sun chooses to great us that day beautifully. We were struck by its rare look or is just me for I wasn’t out most of the days.

Fast forward.

It was already dark when we got to our first destination. It was on the upper area so the night view before us was fascinating. The thousands of light from the houses hundred miles away from us was amazingly seen from there.

One thing I want from darkness, it wasn’t always loneliness- as how we usually define ‘dark’. There is peace and beauty, only if you want to find it.

Since the time plan was changed, our iterinary has to change too. So we decided to take this trip literally as it is- on the road.

We dine in at KFC for dinner sometime that night and came back to the road again. After one round, we tried to put a picnic blanket somewhere to stay. So we did, it was midnight already, the place was huge and spacious that we can take long walks. Chilly nights with friends are always the best. We played various of games and talked about random things.

If not for the van limited time rent we aren’t home yet at 3AM. Unfortunately, time has to come and we have to go back and face the reality. (??) (Lol)

For me, everything turned out well, despite its imperfection and abruptness. Everytime we do something different I know our bond is getting tighter and that’s more important.

How everything happened, may it be good for our side or not, is maybe how it really should be.

APRIL 12 2016 | 1:30 PM | WEDNESDAY

Out of the blue


Check out @PoemPorns’s Tweet:

I can’t put it into words. Guess I’m never good at it anyway. But I stumble into this one from twitter. Words struck and it home. Yes, I am tired and not just because of lack of sleep, from everything. I need rest, it’s not the one you can get over night. I need time. But I don’t want to waste one… again, I’m lost.

MARCH 17, 2016 | 7:56 PM | WED

Out of the blue


She watches from afar
Waiting there patiently
She didn’t know when she’ll be ready
So she stood just firm and steady

She keeps her mouth shut
Her eyes open
She hears you, not forgetting  a word
Never because it stuck on her
And it stays there

She streches her arms
Longing, reaching
She didn’t grasp a hold
She failed… once again.

She stood there patiently waiting
Doing nothing
Staring blankly
When will she ever be ready?

Others are living her dreams
She sees them
She wishes she’s there too
Sharing the same stage with that others

She can never do anything
It wasn’t the time yet
That’s what she thinks, atleast
Creating her own clock which she herself set

She is not able
So she just stood there… steady
Blankly stares
She lets the numbness take her in
She closed her eyes
And the darkness took over
She heard gushes and whispers
She’s feeling everything all at once.
And suddenly, she’s liking it.
She’s liking it there.

MARCH 13,2016 | 1:11 AM | SUNDAY

Friends, Memories


We got out of town for 2 days and 2 nights! Yay?

I was with some friends and we kinda just hiked a trip from my friend’s family get away. But she invited us and it just happened. An abrupt plan and clicked; we’re on our way.

It was no problem actually since she’s an only child and her parent’s cool with it. Her parents got along with us well, so we didn’t had a problem when it comes to company.

And the trip goes like this…

At 7 pm last February 27, we made our way out of Manila to Nueva Ecija. We stopped over at some time to San Fernando, Olonggapo for fast trip to powder room and dinner. Then we got to our first destination at 12 am already which is at Licab, Nueva Ecija. Right when we arrived, we hit the bed. Drives are life but ’twas exhausting.

Day 1 | 2.28.16

We woke up early and the province vibe was there, I’m loving the stay already. Just after a coffee we already started lurking around the area riding a trike and a single motor. We round the place for about an hour and my hair was nevertheless messy and tangled. Can I be a princess already? Lol

Then we went back to the house and ate a fine breakfast and we are on the road again. We paid a visit to their owned land and Dianne also test drive and I was never that scared in my whole entire life. Kidding, it was just uncomfortable for me knowing my friend was behind the wheel.

Later that day, we continued the trip to Rizal, Nueva Ecija where they welcomed us with smiling faces and good gestures. I loved their food, they might had a different taste but the ambience made it a little more appealing. We dine outside, by the way. After eating, the adult let us view the green field and we did as told while they did the catching up. There is this really long straight path that we walked, ofcourse, we took a couple of pictures. Everytime the wind hits my face, it refreshes me. The void view was refreshing alone but  feeling it took me into another level. Seeing trees everywhere sans tall buildings, I knew I’ve escaped my world, momentarily.

But there is just an inevitable thing that I can’t resist; it was to surf the net. Stop and behold, because I did something ridiculous that I’ve come to realized just now. I stalked. It just happened (again), my friend’s laptop was left opened and they were already fast asleep so I kinda just want to check my Fb account (we brought wifi) but learned that she left hers logged in. I don’t know but the idea just popped in my head and tried scrolling through her messages because I am that nosy. So I did, search the name of that particular person and read their conversation from two years ago. I saw that they don’t talk much recently, that’s why. I am ninja that was never been caught and never will *insert evil laugh* lol

After they nap, we were back on the road again. We left Rizal at 5 and stopped by lugawan in the midst of driving. Well, surprise, I only ate half  of my bowl. You know how much I’m not a fan of all kind of lugaws. I ordered an aroscaldo tho but still… yeah just have to warm my stomach since the weather was slightly getting chilly. We arrived at Pantabangan at around 8 pm. We end up watching tv instead because we were completely out of signal to communicate to others from Manila. They offered dinner and sleep over too. So we accepted it wholeheartedly.

The family that owned the house was very generous and kind. The couples were old enough to serve for us but they still did. They were both from a recent operation but it never hindered them to smile. I kinda missed my lolas because of them (never met my lolo), they were those kind that I wanted to take care of, if ever. They were lovely and sweet. You’ll never get tired of their presence. Loved them already.
(All the families we visited were their relatives.)

Day 2 | 2.29.16

We woke up the next day lazily, seriously, you’ll just love the weather. Breezy and warm feeling? Waking up to another place again was something I will never exchanged for, even for a commercial exposure. I’d rather not be found. Lol but that was just me.

So we ate breakfast rather fast because we’re running out of time. But we end up waiting for a ‘little’ more while after  the van  was halted . They seriously killed the excitement, er.

Finally, we arrived at the lake! It was my first time to bathe in a lake. Though I only kinda bathe since I did not totally bring my body down, am too afraid it would affect my skin. I’m that conscious. Haha (I was slightly burned tho, my feet and arms.)

They had a lot of fun there, I also did. By taking videos and pictures.
My kind of fun. Fun? No. I know. *Flips hair*

When we got tired playing around and by the water, I slept inside the van since I was not that soaked in the water anyway. It wasn’t that long because they kept talking loudly inside causing disturbance of my ever peaceful sleep. They have changed into clean clothes already.

We stayed there for six hours. We got to left at 3:15pm and we went back to fetch other bags and were good to go. Until Dianne has to drive on the rocky road that cause a little damage to the car. Which I’m kinda thanful for, I thought I’ll never had a chance to take a decent bathe since we were to leave early (all of them bathe at the lake). But because of that damage, they had to take the car to the nearest auto service and fix it. That leave me have more time and I run fast to the bathroom and seriously splash everything at once on me. Kidding aside, I did an extra fast bath to prevent them from waiting for me, that would be embarrassing.

But it turned out for us to visit one more house just close to the one we stayed at. They have a big family, I guess. So we, for the nth time, eat. Yep, got a lot restored here already, I had to… Yeah so we stayed there for a bit and talk about some plan like going back there on summer but with the gang this time. Needs some finishing with this drawing. *Winks*

We left the house at 5pm and… daaamnnn, louie and friends back at it again on the road! *Damn, daniel tone*

We’re now good to go home but the fun never stopped there. We even created a funny clip (well, for us who can only relate), we filmed it inside the van, just did silly things and we came up to this. We made fun of our friend who keeps on saying hilarious things on a video we were taking. His jokes keeps cracking me up. I might post the video here just for me to look back when I stumble upon this post in the future.

The trip back home was much more alive maybe because of the hang over from everything. Once in a while peeking a sleep but we will just find ourselves laughing again. Crazy group.

We stopped once to grab snacks and we continued the drive all the way to home.

When I reached my house, it’s already March first.

Amazing trip I had with amazing people. Indeed worthy of spending my time on this once (maybe) in a lifetime out of town experience with this people. I am so looking forward for the part two. I bet it will be 10x more riot and an absolute crazy fun ride. I am so lucky and rich with friends, what more can I ask for?

Ps. I edited a video, (my first time to edit) feel free to judge. I must suggest that you should pay attention to lyrics while watching. I have put and planned some clips intentionally. Here’s to memories!

(The link may not be available because of the security I put when I uploaded the video on Facebook. Will edit this when I find out how to upload an actual video instead of links.)


Tinnietiny bit sharing:
It took me hours to find an editing device for this and when I found one that’ll be easy for me I was so glad. Had to blindedly try everything on it but I did fine, just how I wanted my video to be. Until I’m finished, DANG THE WATERMARK! THEIR WATERMARK IS SCREAMING IT SWALLOWED MY WHOLE VIDEO.

I have to buy their promos to remove the watermark but I can’t do that. So please bear with it, I think I’ll just video it from the laptop while it plays on the project file. Hays


Pps. I am completely oblivious that I just passed the day that only happened every leap year. That is how happiness distracts me. What mattered most is what’s currently happening, what is in before my eyes.

See you again Nueva Ecija!!!

Till then, lovies.
March 4, 2016 | 7:04 PM


We won

A city of tall buildings and people in formal attires— that is what I picture when I heard the place named Ortigas. As to my knowledge, (which I may tell is not really… you know) this is where most companies are found. Hence, people in suit and tie. But I wasn’t there to apply (atleast, not yet) or any kind of related office works.

Last February 24. We were called to attend a workshop… (ah, workshop) wait, what?!

Yep, that’s right, a workshop.
This is from the contest we joined last time, from Caronia.

Why are we attending workshop?
Because man, WE WON!

Though on third place, I am still happy, we are.

Third place

We were there to practice the commercial we were supposed to be in. It was a new kind of experience for me, but like I said before, I wasn’t really into media. Especially, in front of cameras. I am really shy and uncomfortable, something I should fix but I just can’t.

We waited for a while before the director came entered the door. He was around 26 and not the kind of director I thought. He was accomodating, so was his team, they were funny actually. They were cool. There we also met the other winners.
I think we spend almost 3 hours of briefing and practicing.
During the practice, I wasn’t really sure of what I’m doing. They told us to just do whatever the natural reaction we’ll get on the particular scenario. Wherein, we were voters in line waiting impatiently for the transaction to move. Well, I perfectly performed my natural reaction to that, which is none.

Truthfully, whenever I’m in a line (alone), I won’t do anything even if it took me hours to stand there. It was my choice to be there, then I should suck it up. HAHA

The directors might or might not liked my reactionless acting since they laugh at it but told me continue what I’m doing.

While I wasn’t liking any of it. Except the pizza treat. Yum!

I must say that for some kind, I am proud of what I did. I somehow did something out of my personality. For me, that is achievement.

But an unfortunate event happened…

I wasn’t able to come to the actual shooting. I never really intend to come in the first place. Though I had a perfect reasonable excuse. We went to Nueva Ecija. My friends and I did some road trip. That is much more fun. Duh! Lol

But that is no problem on their side. I did not affect their plan anyway. I’m no biggie.

We did get the prize exept the exposure they promised.

Set of Caronia products. One for each participant.

This is enough, I’m just fine.
Thank you Lord for all the blessings. Glory to God!

Next time, lovies.

March 2, 2016 | 9:09 PM | Wednesday

Events, Friends

PM to AM 0.2

I couldn’t think of any word to describe how yesterday (February 20) flow of events have been. Also the fact that I was with the most ridiculous group ever, I am beyond happy!

Glad that I am one of them.

Early morning that day, I was actually not feeling myself maybe because of what happened the other day. It was just so overwhelming, the series of events that had happened and what is bound to. Well, me being me, I was just over stressing myself.
Until we went to Dianne’s pad first. The rush was there and all the thoughts was out of my head once we arrived. There, they started getting ready for we were expected to be in the event’s place extra early. So we did, the place was fantastic, spacious, pleasing and homey. It was called Lights of love, the name did justice. Indeed, you’ll just love them lights.

We took a lot of pictures before everyone arrived. When I say a lot, I mean just that; A LOT. We took the chance of posing everywhere, though the party haven’t started yet, the photos were over 600 already. (on my friend’s phone) How selfie addicts are we? But hey, girls just wanna have fun! Lol

When the debutante walked as the party started, I knew that night would be a long one.

Dianne looking fab 🙂

If you ask me what was the highlight of the party, it would be the arrival of her supposed-to-be-overseas father. I was so close to tears when she just stared at him unbelievably walking towards her, that moment was priceless and heartfelt.

best surprise

The night was swiftly moving and we are all enjoying every minute of it. Everyone did their part, where I was one of the 18 candles. I think I did great, I was slightly shaking and have no idea what I am saying all throughout my speech, so I remembered nothing from my message. I was damn distracted, the crowd and and self-consciousness bothered me, so I think I just did great. Yeah…

The flow of the party was fine, the food was great especially the deserts, it was a variety of all goodness. Yay, sweets!

You know you are in a great company when you didn’t mind people that surrounded you, just those who are the reason of your shameless laugh and snort. These people that I was with never changed, the childishness and loudness. The jokes that only members would understand, the jokes we all would never get tired of. It was still them, the howls and cheers we all agreed upon. The unity. Because you can’t just resist them.

They brought fire through the party especially the one after the formal one. Well, I must say that our participation outshined everyone, kidding! Let’s just say that there is two particular tables occupied by the most abnormally active teenagers. Sometimes their loudness can be out of hand. Lol

We were this weird since day one, but then, who’s counting?


We were the first comers and the last one to close as well. Loyal friends we got here. We help them packed the things and brought it back home.

And because it was late already, we spent the night there. Yes! Over night, part two. Though some had to go home for they have their own activity to do the next day. We still had fun though. We just had a little problem on focusing on sleeping because they just can’t stay silent for so long.Their laughters disrupts the mood every time. Atleast we managed to get some sleep, even for a couple of hours only.

I have missed them surely. I hope that this bond of ours will never get old. As we age, nothing changes, sti;l the craziest gang ever. I loved them two years ago, that too, never changed, never will.

Ps. Dianne@19 😍😍

‘Till then, lovies.

February 21, 2016 | Sunday


Sweets and Creeps

If you are to ask me how my Valentines Day had been, I must say that it was bitter-sweet one.

Yesterday was so eventful that it knocked me off the moment I hit the bed. And lead me to narrate my ‘adventure’ last night, today. I am actually thinking twice of sharing it on my blog, I guess I’ll give it on my diary then.

If you read my pre-valentine entry on my blog, I discussed ways of how you could spend it. And I actually applied it, wow. I’m living my words. Well, kinda, you will understand later.

I told you about how you could spend it with your close friends, just hanging out and catching up.

But I started mine the way this day should be started. I went to church and give praises to our God. It’s a Sunday and being with Him first and foremost was a very good feeling, it enlighten my mood more and made me keen on how this day would roll for me.

After the service, I went to my girl friends’ house. Helen, Francia and I did our usual thing. Pig out and an unexpected movie marathon (TV actually). We came browsing the television that afternoon and we stumble upon this really epic classic movie— One More Chance. I have only watched it once and that was long ago, I was young back then and I never enjoyed it the way I enjoyed it yesterday. My innocence that time won’t get the plot of the story yet. The feels and content of that movie was so intense, I recommend. So, we ended up watching one more show before it and there begins our Valentines date.

In between the first movie, we kinda prepare our food and share stories here and there. It goes like that the whole time. After the movie and being lousy-people-lying-on-couches we went out to repair Francia’s tablet gadget. Helen’s mother have a store on market and we stayed there for awhile continuing our talk and whatever.

After a while, it was evening by then, I went straight to Dianne’s pad to greet her a Happy birthday personally. I didn’t expect that I’ll be seeing some friends of ours too, there they practice their perfomance for her celebration on the 20th. I kinda ate some served food too. Yummm!! We talked about the upcoming event and planned some changes too. My day was going swiftly and just fine until we were on the jeepney on our way home.

Half way to our destination, two passenger made their way on the same jeep we are on; I was with my friend, Aldrex. He was sitted opposite of me, and the jeep wasn’t packed much so there’s alot of spaces to sit on. The one sat slighly beside me, he left a good distance between us and his other friend sat in front, beside the driver. They seemed new or lost because they keep asking the driver about directions and a particular place. I don’t want to be rude by judging them with their appearances but I can’t help it. The acts and glances they were giving around and my way looked so suspicious, their looks were the type of those goons I watched on TV— like they were hiding something behind their hands waiting to attack you.

I have a morbid imagination, I know. They are creeps and it gives me chills. I can’t help but panicked inside my head.

At first, I thought they were like the same annoying guys-who-has-nothing-to-do and say hi to random people especially to attractive girls. And man, I was not attractive at all. But I do receive some glances and ‘Hi, miss’ my way everytime. For me, it wasn’t fine at all to receive random compliments or comments from a complete stranger. It was annoying and sometimes embarassing. I’m thankful that they appreciate but they don’t have to go ‘feeling close’. Boys.. hays

On the other hand, these guys that rode with us last night wasn’t the normal guys-who-has-nothing-to-do. He wasn’t contented on glances, he even shot me a piercing look that stayed so long it made me uncomfortable. Being the normal me, I was praying already on the inside and crying for help— but squirming a little on the outside. I gave her frowns and disgusted faces some times but he wouldn’t budge. I think he find my pimple on the nose cute.

I got so alarmed when he continues doing so. The ride shouldn’t take so long it must be 10 to 15 mins only. But I am still frightened because the road we would be taking was dark and mostly quiet. Annnddd guess what? GOD IS SO GOOD, He heard my prayers right then.

The road I was talking about was blocked because it was under construction. It cause the jeepneys to take the other route wherein there’ll be more houses and is brighter. I was so happy thanking God, but that wasn’t the end yet.

He pointed out the karinderya asking (the driver) if that was a karinderya indeed, it was damn obvious because of the displays, saying they will eat there. But like I said, their acts were suspicious, I bet being dumb was their front. They did not even follow the driver’s repeated intructions. After all their questions, their destination and eating long forgotten, they even seemed to know where they were going and they were out of their supposed way.

They went out of the transpo too early and that made us ahead of them. He even continued his creepy stares as he got off and peek on the window calling his friend, but his eyes seemed glued to me. The urge to punch him was so strong. They were walking towards us the moment we got out. The realization the I’ll be separating ways with Aldrex doubled up my alertness. When our eyes met, I prenteded to shrugged my worries off and just smiled, nodding my head I said nothing as he bid goodbye. I know he knew something was off and was aware of the jeepney incident but I never glanced back at him thinking I might saw the goons behind. Instead I pulled my bag closer to me and rushed my steps, securing I had to have people to walk side by side. I utter prayers repeatedly inside my head and only stopped when I already caught sight of our house. Thank you, Lord.

I am never good at telling stories so sorry for having it so long it took half of this entry. My Valentines did not end pretty good, I must say. I guess it was part of the plan? Nothing bad happened and I’m still walking and talking to you. Soooo, it was fine. Everything is okay! If not, it will be.

Ps. God knew our prayers even before we utter them. Glory to God!