Memories, story

Birthday Confession

I, leana (jokes on me- not my real name), 19- have finally made my feet step on the grounds of ENCHANTED KINGDOM for the very first time! (APRIL 26,2017)

Yes, i can’t tell you how much I loved theme parks but man, I am made for these places. That is one of the places I definitely belong to. I don’t know if it’s just the excitement but I never felt tired the whole time we spent there until we spotted the food park in the evening and my stomach has to grumble waiting to be noticed. 

Although we had a hard time getting to the location, we had a good time. I am able to try atleast 9 rides and experienced 4D for the first time. Honestly, the limited time we had was too short to tear me out completely, I wanted to ride them all extreme ones! I even want to ride the second time each of them to ease my initial shock and actually enjoy the ride and experience. 

Although I had great friends with me and we were there to celebrate my 19th birthday. I wished that they were hyped as me to get on every ride on every opportunity we got and not just to take aesthetic pictures when they are not as determined to take good pictures when it comes to others. Or maybe it was just me, maybe I killed their vibe because whenever we took pictures, I posed awkwardly and trying hard to smile to the camera. It was never my forte to model myself and look good on candid. NEVER. 

I hated it when my mouth shows too much gums whenever I laugh and my eyes were hidden because they were too small. I hated the shape of my face because no angle could deny how awful it looks and don’t forget my poise and gestures! My hands were flying everywhere, my feet is standing on toes or pointing or swaying on the side or crossing, I may stumble one of this days because of my clumsiness whenever I see the lens in front of me. 

Sometimes I felt like a hypocrite and being ungrateful makes me feel bad. I felt like they are holding me back and I hated them for making me feel that way. Although they don’t have to worry because the problem is all on me, because I can’t really handle my insecurities well, when I always say that it is fine to be who you really are. I can’t mingle with the fun people and jump from one place to another. I’d rather have the wind slapping me in the face when I am on the highest peak the extreme ride can get. They were just everything that I am not and sometimes it makes it hard to stay friends with everyone. 

I wish they didn’t joke how bad the place was because someone was actually afraid of heights and all they do on my favorite ride was hang onto me like I was the last chance they could grab to make them stay alive. Why they didn’t tell me that they can’t do the ferris wheel before we took off but announced that we should save the best for last? I am supposed to savor the last moment and enjoy the skyline, but I tried to understand and let my arms be the last handle she could cling onto for the whole ride. I tried filming and take pictures on one hand but it’s still depressing. I still tried to laugh and joke with them. I though it was fine, I guess not. 

I want to go back! I believe that I haven’t fulfilled the magic the theme park is supposedly saying. I have to go back there and I am absolutely going back. 
I just hope that when time comes, I’d be with the right people who enjoys the same thing as me. 

 – L S S
M A Y 1 , 2 0 1 7

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